Finnocence
by new directions
Summary: Finn Hudson and the relationships in his life. Nothing can ever seem to work out for him. All of his relationships had let him down. Except for one.


**A/N:** I love Finn! He has to be my favorite Glee character. This is what happens when you're bored at almost four o'clock in the morning. This is just a one-shot, but I had fun writing it. Eventual pairing is Finn and Rachel, please give it a chance! R&R! This is sort of long for a one-shot, but I apologize. I hope you enjoy it anyway.

**DISCLAIMER:** Is this necessary anymore?

_Finnocence _

His first crush was on Brittany.

He and Puck sat on top of the jungle gym. They felt like kings of the world. Finn had no idea what Puck had meant when he said that Brittany "showed some skin" through her skirt. Finn didn't know anything at all except that he thought her skirt was pretty. He liked _all_ of her skirts, in fact. Especially the ones with the crazy patterns and sequins.

Finn thought it was the coolest thing when he heard her blurt out a song one day at recess.

"Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are, like a-"

When she paused, Finn paused with her. He was confused as to who could possibly forget the lyrics to Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. Even _he_ knew the whole thing by heart.

He was proud when he told his mom at dinner, "I talked to Brittany today. I told her she had a nice head." But he meant to say that Brittany had nice hair. And it was nice. Very nice. Finn tried to touch it once, grabbing one of the braids that lay on her shoulder and swinging it.

"I'm telling on you!" She screamed, and Mike Chang followed her up to the playground supervisor.

_Tattletale Mike_, Finn thought.

* * *

When sixth grade started, Finn was at the bottom of the heap. Sure, he was the youngest in the school, but according to Coach Tanaka, being a football player was supposed to have its' perks.

"I sex'ed her," A very proud Noah Puckerman stated after the homecoming game, "_Under the bleachers_."

"Did not!" Mike Chang yelled immaturely after Puck, Brittany by his side, gripping her pom-poms tightly.

Finn walked away, he didn't feel like hearing about one of Puck's latest achievements. _Were twelve year old boys supposed to touch girls, anyway?_ Finn thought about that one for a long time.

He walked away from it all and hid under the bleachers. Shortly after, he found himself hoping this wasn't where Puck 'sex'ed' whoever he claimed he did. Finn cringed at that thought.

"You okay?" A small blonde still in uniform crept her way under the bleachers and found herself a spot right next to Finn.

"I'm okay." He smiled up at her. _She's so pretty_, he thought.

"I'm Quinn." She extended out her arm. _Girls still do that?_ He thought he should extend his, too.

"Finn."

"I knew that already."

"Y-you knew my _name_?"

And suddenly he felt himself getting red and his heart kind of sank and he couldn't decide whether that was a good feeling or not.

* * *

_Think of the mailman_, he told himself as Quinn started stroking his neck.

He had never had a girlfriend before her. He liked that, _girlfriend_. He wanted to call her that over and over and-

"_Finn!" _Quinn rose as did Finn.

"Sorry," He said, redness growing in his face.

They continued their hot-tub session, casually making-out and stroking each other. _Is this what a girlfriend is_? He had to ask himself a few times.

He enjoyed the hot-tub. There were more hot-tub sessions to follow that one. Seeing Quinn in a bikini was an ultimate plus for him, and he wasn't complaining about the action either.

He never brought himself to tell her I love you. He didn't understand why three words were so difficult to say in the first place. Heck, people in soap operas toss them around like_ footballs_.

Before he could say his three words, she said only two before he broke.

"_I'm pregnant_."

It ended with a "_who else's would it be?_" leaving Finn flashing back to the day in the hot-tub. The day approximately one month from today.

"B-but we didn't even have-"

"Super sperm." And he bought her whole story. The story about the super-sperm and the swimsuits and the hot-tubs' temperature perfections.

* * *

"B-but, I didn't. I'll pee in a cup. _I'll pee_." He didn't imagine that he'd ever have to deal with drugs. He was a good kid, despite the fact that he couldn't control his super-sperm, as Quinn liked to remind him from time to time.

And a week later he was singing and dancing. His dancing was out of line and uncoordinated but that crazy girl told him that he could work on it. She also said something about his pitch not being correct and just as he was about to debate that he was a marvelous baseball player but sometimes got a little off his game, she told him she'd '_fix that too_'.

_You better shape up_

She lunged her body towards him, slamming down her sheet lyrics on the ground.

_'Cuz I need a man_

Finn could've sworn she would've grabbed him by the chest next.

_And my heart is set on you_

He didn't know the lyrics. His hands were sweaty and he felt his face getting there too.

They got closer as he grew more accustomed to Glee.

"Your pitch got a lot better," Rachel put her hands together, praising Finn, "Let's take a break. I made a picnic."

He _knew_ he wasn't just seeing things when he spied a picnic basket, a blanket and virgin cosmos laying out on the auditorium stage.

"It touched something," Finn placed his hand on his chest, "Right..._here_."

"Um, Finn," She giggled, her hand slowly guided towards his, "Your heart's on the other side of your chest."

He felt like an idiot.

He felt like even more of an idiot when he kissed her and all that was running through his mind at that moment was the mailman- _four times_.

* * *

"If you don't help me with this," Quinn snapped, "I'm cutting you off. We'll go our separate ways, Finn."

He knew she was yelling at him, but a part of him slowly drifted away from caring anymore. Being a father to Quinn Fabray's baby didn't sound as cool as it did in the beginning. Not as cool as it did when he convinced himself, _Hey, she's hot, popular and she's carrying my baby. It'll all blow over_.

Not when he had Rachel Berry seated directly next to him.

"I can help," Rachel quietly offered as they both watched Quinn stomping out of the choir room, "I know a place that's hiring."

He owed her. Not just for the job, but for _everything_. Rachel was different. He liked her. He appreciated her. He liked the way she sang. He loved the way she dressed, especially the sequined leg warmers and the sweaters with the animals on them.

He flashed back to when he was little, maybe six or seven. "_Butterflies_," his mother would tell him, "_They're something you get in your tummy when you're nervous about somebody or something._"

If the whole butterfly thing was true, then Rachel was the net and she just kept on bringing in more and more butterflies.

* * *

He knew even before it was over that it was over.

"I'm baby-sitting," Quinn answered when Finn asked her what her Friday night plans were, "Puck, too."

It got worse. He overheard the two of them talking about getting Jewish baby testing, whatever _that_ was.

She fell at rehearsal and and Puck was by her side, "_Get hot towels!_"

When Rachel told him that she had it in good source that Puck was the father of Quinn's baby, sure, he was heartbroken. Who wouldn't be? He was shocked, too, but he wouldn't admit that to anyone. Not even Rachel.

He just pounded the crap out of Puck. Pounded him and pounded him.

_"B-but we didn't even have-"_

_"Super sperm." _

His mind slowly went from concentrating on delivering the greatest of punches to the day Quinn had told Finn of her pregnancy.

He had no idea how someone could be so stupid.

* * *

All his life, Finn's mom told him that he was '_one to jump into things too easily_'. He had no idea what she meant. Ever.

Until two weeks after babygate.

"That's my boyfriend!" Rachel jumped excitedly in the stands.

Most boyfriends would be happy to see their extra-supportive girlfriends come out and cheer them on during a game. Finn wasn't.

He wanted to be happy, he really did. Rachel was cool and as irritating as listening to her all day could get, it was better than having no one at all.

* * *

"I need to find my like, inner rockstar." He looked back at her but it was too late. She was already crying and he didn't feel like running for her.

* * *

"_Finnocence,_" A sly and sexy Santana Lopez was behind the locker door when he closed it. _That only happens in movies, no_, Finn reminded himself, confused.

His chest tightened, "So she's really seeing Jesse?" He wanted to kick the crap out of St. Jackass and he hadn't even met him yet.

"Mhm," So Santana scribbled down the name of the motel they'd meet up at around seven o'clock and mouthed the words, "_be there_" before she walked away.

* * *

It was over before he knew it. He didn't feel anything, of course. Besides the kick of a leg next to him.

"_Mmmm_," Santana rolled over, buttoning her top, "I'm hungry. Room service?"

But Finn couldn't speak.

He knew she'd ask, everyone had suddenly found out about his 'date' with Santana.

"We didn't do anything," He assured her, she looked relieved, "I'm waiting for the one."

He hit himself inside for lying, but his heart sank when Rachel told him of her date with Jesse.

"Well, it went _wonderfully,_" His face flushed and his stomach dropped, too, "Honestly, it wasn't that big of a deal. I mean, y'know, it was, it was great."

Finn's heart sank over and over.

"But, uh, when it was over, y'know, I-I didn't know why I was so nervous in the first place."

He stupidly told her he was happy for her and then walked away.

* * *

_Stupid Kurt_, was all Finn could think.

He didn't mean to insult him by calling anything in his house _faggy_. The word just came out.

"You can't live here." Two months ago, Finn thought he'd be happy hearing Burt spit those words out at him. It'd give him a reason to leave the sad excuse of a room he shared with Kurt. But those words hurt him. They hurt more than just his feelings.

He knew _exactly_ why Kurt did what he did. He set their parents up on purpose. Finn's mom a single mom of fifteen years, his mom dead for several.

Kurt didn't do it just to unite two lonely people. No, he was crushing on Finn.

Finn saw the way Kurt flirted. He knew when he spit the ballad title _I Honestly Love You_ out at him that it wasn't _just_ a song.

Finn also saw Kurt for who he was- his gay friend.

_We'll never be nothing more_, he said to himself.

Kurt was certainly not making the pressure of dealing with losing Rachel and sleeping with Santana any easier. Living with him was a nightmare. Changing in the same room was even worse. Finn checked behind the shower curtain when he got in, making sure Kurt wasn't in there to 'sneak a peek'.

Now he was not allowed to live there anyway. Finn's mom was heartbroken by the news, assuming Finn did what he did with reason.

Only she didn't know that the night before Finn and Kurt stayed up talking. They talked about how they would be as brothers. _Step-brothers_.

* * *

Seeing her with Jesse pained him. Months of Jesse and Rachel stealing the spotlight with their perfectly harmonized duets. Months of hand-holding and Rachel's constant admiration of Jesse's so-called '_badass-ness_'.

Of course, Finn wasn't happy that Rachel got egged. No, he wanted to _tear_ Jesse from the inside out. On the outside, he couldn't help but to show pain. He even exclaimed he'd go all _Braveheart_ on Vocal Adrenaline. No one could egg _his_ girl like that and just get away with it. But on the inside, he was all smiles.

Jesse egging Rachel meant so much more than humiliation for her. It meant so much more than the constant nightmares of the chicks mothers' coming to find her for revenge. It meant they were over. _Through_. _Done_. _Finished_. And Finn couldn't help but replay that thought in his mind.

* * *

He was sweating and it looked like she was too, but he still thought she looked pretty.

They had a minute before showtime and he was nervous, he could admit that. Rachel looked nervous too, although she'd probably never admit it to anyone.

"Break a leg," She threw the words confidently out at him, and he spit even more confident words back.

"I love you."

He said it in a hushed tone, but she heard him. She didn't return it, but he didn't need her to.

The music played and the words were all in the song anyway.


End file.
